Friendship

During Autism evaluations where a student's verbal skills are at a conversational level we often ask if they have friends, would they like more friends and what makes a good friend. We certainly don't diagnose Autism based on these answers, but sometimes they give us a good clue of their social awareness. However, I often stop and pause at this question for myself and smirk because my own answers to these questions paired with the fact that I usually function better with a fidget toy, just might mean I may be "slightly autistic" myself.

Thankfully, my pragmatic functioning is appropriate enough for me to answer what makes a good friend, but if one were to ask me if I wanted more friends I would probably tell you no; therein lies my autism diagnosis. I'm happy with my friends. I've always been that person who would rather have a few great friends than a lot of acquaintances. I don't see the need in idle chit chat, I just want to get down to the nitty gritty.

When I think back on my friendships in my lifetime, I can see God's hand in my closest friendships; although no example makes me more keenly aware of this than my college years, specifically my freshman year.

I can't exactly remember the time frame of these events, but I'm fairly certain they happened within 3 days of each other during the second or third week of school.

Kim-I met Kim at a Baptist Student Ministries (BSM)function; it was an outreach ministry, I believe. My first impression of Kim was that she was a lot like me in her sense of humor. She also seemed to want to make friends as much as I did. We had an instant connection and upon further discussion we found out we lived 1 floor apart in the same dorm. I looked forward to seeing her again.

Darcie-I met Darcie in the cafeteria during breakfast. I was sitting by myself eating my breakfast (sigh) and this girl comes up and asks if she can join me. She introduced herself and we began to chit chat. She seemed nice, although I could tell it was going to be harder to get to know her, in fact I wasn't quite sure if we had truly made a connection. Clearly we did, since I'm talking about her in my blog.

Jodi-I met Jodi as we were both anxiously waiting to interview for the Freshman Council through the BSM. We discussed how nervous we were and wished each other good luck. I remember thinking, "Oh how I hope we both make it because this girl seems really cool." Secretly I was infatuated with her long curly hair. Jodi was someone of whom I was determined to be her friend. I didn't know how I was going to make it happen, but we WOULD be friends (Jodi, I realize that's a little creepy...).

The very next week during the outreach ministry that Kim and I were briefly a part of, she asked me if I wanted to go walking with her and some of her friends later that evening. Since my evenings consisted of being mostly alone in my dorm room, I readily agreed. She told me to meet them in her room at a specified time. I showed up, knocked on her door and when opened, I saw Kim, Darcie and Jodi. Crazy, right? If that's not ordained by God, I don't know what is. These three girls ended up being my roommates throughout college and they helped me get through college. I'd like to think I played a key role in their college years as well, at the very least I know I provided them with entertainment.

Now we don't see each other very often anymore, but when we do it's just like old times. I love those girls and they will always have a very special place in my heart.

I have a point in discussing friendships, but it's late so this entry will have to be continued...

Napolean

I realize it's been awhile, and for that I apologize. I did want to share my experience with Napolean. I have to say I had high hopes for this one. Napolean, whose screen name is "historyguy" sent me the most hysterical email I've ever received, which also was the inspiration for his nickname. I'm posting a portion of his incredibly wordy email below, mostly for posterity sake. I'm concerned it might be deleted from my inbox at some point and I'd like to reference it from time to time for a good laugh.

"Anyway, how are you? I'm glad that you wrote back. I guess you aren't on here too much? I check it every
couple of days to see if I get a message or a wink, but my membership runs out in a couple of months. I doubt
I will sign up again. Quite frankly, this entire dating process has been a bit exhausting. I want to find a good
woman, yes, but I guess its just been overwhelming for me. I wish it were like the stone age or the age of
Fred Flinstone. I could just club a woman in the head and drag her by her hair home and that is that. But, in
today's world, trying that will not only get you in prison, but women are armed, especially in Texas. I'd probably
get shot or something. Ha Ha. Well, I meant this to be funny, and hope it didn't scare you away.

You know, I think when there were cavemen and neanderthals, they just sort of grunted at each other and pointed
and that's how they ended up getting together. I thought about going to a club or bar and just grunting at a few
women, but figured that wouldn't work either. I don't really do bars or clubs either.

Then there is the Napoleonic method, which would require me to conquer a few nations and name myself as
Master of the Continent or something, but, doubtful that would work too.

So, here I am, on Match.com, trying to find a descent woman to get to know, talk to, go out with and then "who
knows", right? I wonder how a Caveman, Fred Flinstone, or Napoleon would fair on Match.com?? Hmmm

Hope to talk to you soon. :-)"

I decided he needed a good response, but my creative juices weren't particularly flowing that day so my response was this:

"I can honestly say I have no clever response to your email. It was probably the funniest email I've received in a really long time. Please don't club me, take over countries or grunt at me and I think we can be friends.

I have just started my match adventure and am a little unsure of it myself, but promised some friends I would embrace it. Although, I have to say it is bringing out the social anxiety in me. I may have to spend some time in a dark room rocking back and forth. "

Considering Napolean walked into my life back in September and I haven't mentioned to anybody that I am dating anybody, it is safe to assume it didn't work out between us. The day I met him, he was very nervous and he was concerned I wouldn't respond to him the next time he called. He was wrong. If there is some type of connection, I'll give ya at least two chances. Please, I'm a bit insecure myself, but his insecurity was over the top. So sadly, my first meeting with Napolean was the last.

End Scene. Thank you!